I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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