I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dick very happy bro
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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