it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i think i just lost a toe
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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