the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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