dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize