Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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