I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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