Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dear god my vagina.
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