No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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