well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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