Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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