You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize