I think I won the penis lottery.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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