doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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