I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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