Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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