Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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