I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize