I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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