Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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