I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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