Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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