i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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