i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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