yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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