my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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