I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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