Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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