i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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