I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize