I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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