If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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