I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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