Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize