Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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