ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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