I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize