I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
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Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
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S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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