i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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