My friends, they love my intelligence
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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