the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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