those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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