so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
MIDGETS
????
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize