Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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