She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize