I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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