After last night, I could never be a politician.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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