You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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