My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize