Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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