pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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